


return to sender (i beg of you)

by StarryCircuits



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: All characters are at least 21 btw (so no underage drinking), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Misunderstandings, Some Crude Language/Mentions of Sexual Activity but No Execution of it, Some Swearing, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 05:37:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17781578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryCircuits/pseuds/StarryCircuits
Summary: Lance may not be the smoothest man in existence, but this is a new low for him.“Wow, Lance,” Pidge says. “I can’t believe you gave Keith a valentine with a dick on it.”Hunk turns around. “You did what?”





	return to sender (i beg of you)

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't read through this very thoroughly, as I'm in exam hell and wrote this on impulse. Please let me know if you find mistakes! ^_^"

Lance may not be the smoothest man in existence, but this is a new low for him.

“Wow, Lance,” Pidge says. “I can’t believe you gave Keith a valentine with a dick on it.”

Hunk turns around. “You did what?” 

Lance groans into his hands. “It was an accident!”

And to be fair, it was. It started out with a really dumb joke. A really, really dumb one. Hunk, Pidge, and Lance were just hanging out last Friday when Hunk brought out another bottle of obscure wine – part of their “International Booze Nights” as they liked to call it – and Pidge made some inane comment about Lance finally giving a valentine to Shiro, since he’s been thirsty for Mr. Perfect RA since the beginning of the semester. 

But Lance is a man who lives for nothing if not for challenges. And even if it’s for a joke, he also genuinely likes his floormates and wants to see them happy. So, in a drunken stupor, he went ahead and bought a ton of candy, along with half of the arts and crafts department of the local drugstore at ass o’clock in the morning. (The cashier settled him with a look that in equal measures conveyed both amusement and absolute disbelief.) Then, he brought all of it back to his dorm and spent five hours making cute valentines for everyone on the floor.

However, where things get a little spicy is when Lance decided to buy fancy chocolate for Shiro. At some point, he had been so stressed out about matching chocolate with valentines that he paired the dick valentine card (a gift for Hunk, actually, but alas) with the chocolate and placed them at the wrong door – the next door down from Shiro to be precise. As in the door belonging to Keith, a brooding loner from the applied physics department who is either hunting aliens on the roof of the physics building or sitting in his room smoking weed or watching porn all night… or something. Lance isn’t actually sure, but he ASSUMES that’s what he’s doing, since he’s up at odd hours and only ever leaves his room with bloodshot eyes. 

“Well, go get them back then,” Pidge says matter-of-factly. 

“I can’t,” Lance says, sighing. “I passed by this morning when I realized, and they were gone. He found them.” 

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Hunks says gently.

“Yeah,” Pidge says. “Worst case is he puts it up on Facebook for his like ten friends to laugh at.”

“Pidge, not helping,” Hunk hisses at her, to which Pidge shrugs before turning back to her laptop. “But she does have a point. He’ll either ignore it, which is more likely, or he’ll make fun of you for a day or something. It’s fine. You can both laugh over it later.”

Lance really hopes it’s the former, but the universe is unfortunately not so merciful. Keith manages to corner him after their lecture later that day. Originally, Lance tries to bolt but there are a bunch of slowpokes blocking his way to the exit, so he’s stuck here in this row. And he knows Keith’s not about to ask about the homework when he pulls out the chocolates and card from his backpack. (He put them in his BACKPACK, with his like, BOOKS and shit. As if they MEANT something!) 

“So uh,” Keith starts eloquently. “You sure have a way of seducing your conquests.” 

Lance sighs, preparing himself for the mental gymnastics he’s going to have to subject himself to as he always does when he embarrasses himself in front of Keith. “I’m funny and charming.”

Keith snorts. “Right. I’m swooning. Take me right here on this table, baby.”

A classmate gives them a judgmental look (Lance mentally gives her the one-fingered salute in response), and between that and Keith’s diction (those words in that order!), Lance is feeling overwhelmed.

“Right, so,” Lance says awkwardly, noticing the row has cleared out. “Happy V-Day, not to be confused with the Allied victory of World War II. Bye!” 

“Wait, Lance!” Keith says, tugging his wrist gently until Lance turns back toward him. “No, I mean this is actually really sweet. Thanks.”

And at this point, Lance should have spilled. Keith, the chocolate/note are actually for Shiro. How difficult is it to say those few words? But instead, Keith scuffs his boots into the floor and looks him in the eye.

“So, I know I suck at talking about this shit, but I kind of like you? Ever since we were in Thermo together?”

And there’s a sick moment of silence in which Lance – who is more than willing to admit he’s a dick, but he’s not a heartless dick – wants the ground to swallow him up whole, because this is way more than he bargained for.

“Seriously?” Lance asks, too stunned (and too humiliated, honestly) to say much more. “I made fun of your mullet the entire semester.”

“Yeah,” Keith murmurs, sighing dreamily. “It was cute.”

Is this reality? Was Keith actually kidnapped by aliens this time? Apparently, he speaks out loud, because Keith giggles. Deadass giggles at him. He’s pretty sure at this point that Keith is a clone. It’s a fake Keith. A Feith.

“I know we’ve butted heads a little bit before, but I swear I’m being honest. I really like that you don’t just ignore me at parties? And you are actually funny and charming. Are you free on Friday? I’d like to take you on a date.”

Lance sinks slowly into his seat. Keith giggles again (what is wrong with him today?) and follows suit next to him. 

“I know, it’s kinda crazy for me, too. I never thought you’d feel this way back,” Keith says sweetly, stroking Lance’s hand. Lance desperately tries to avoid jerking his hand back (and ignoring the way Keith’s callouses contrast the softness with which he brushes Lance’s hands, how well they fit together). “And honestly, I’m not sure how quick I wanna get to the dick stuff, since we don’t really know each other that well. But I’d like to get to know you better.”

And what’s Lance supposed to say to that? He can’t turn Keith down after that! So like a buffoon, instead of coming clean, he agrees to meet Keith on Friday in front of the arcade. They exchange phone numbers and by the time Lance gets back to his room, he is so emotionally exhausted that he spills everything to Pidge and Hunk, who start cackling at him. Asshats.

“Well,” Hunk says thoughtfully after their giggling dies down, corners of his eyes still wet. “That does explain a lot. Remember how Keith specifically asked you what you thought of his research poster last year?”

“Us,” Lance corrects. Pidge snorts.

“Oh honey, it’s as if we weren’t there. He only cared about your opinion,” Pidge says, jerking her chin in his direction.

“Okay but if that’s true, then it’s because y’all aren’t even in our department, let alone in our major,” Lance counters. Pidge nods once, a touche gesture of sorts, when Hunk clears his throat.

“Let’s not forget the time there was a floor party and Keith only came when he heard Lance would be, too.” 

“But-”

“Or the only time he took on a Mario Kart rematch after creaming everyone was when Lance pestered him.”

“Oh, don’t get me started,” Hunk says. “He was whipped.”

“Guys-”

“Oh, oh! What about how he laughs at literally everything Lance says?”

“Keith doesn’t laugh,” Lance deadpans.

“Not like ha-HA laugh,” Pidge says as if it’s obvious. “I mean like his grins, his chuckles, his merry noises? Like this!” And then she chuckles quietly, barely audible above the sound of the heater, grinning dopily at the ground. It’s pretty on-point.

Lance curls up into a ball and groans into his knees. “Guys, I’m fucked.”

“Well hopefully,” Pidge says. “I’m glad your card actually worked its way into the loins of one Tall, Dark, and Mysterious Keith Kogane. Good feels, man.” 

Lance turns, burying his face into Hunk’s pillow. “Pidge, shut up! Hunk, what do I do?”

Hunk sighs. “Well, you could come clean now. Or you could tell him over text. But don’t wait until the date, dude. It’s a waste of everyone’s time if you don’t actually want to be there.”

But of course, Lance doesn’t listen because he’s a fool. And so Friday comes around; he spends two hours trying to pick out an outfit that screams “I’m hot” (because he likes being pretty) but also “I’m not really interested, babe” – which is hard to do, because he looks like a snacc in all of his outfits. He settles on a blue plaid and some skinny jeans that Hunk approves with a thumbs-up as he leaves the dorm.

However, Lance’s brain short-circuits when he actually gets to the arcade. Keith shows up looking like some fairy godmother came and sprinkled him with that like, Pop-Idol-Hotness. Lance has no idea how he could’ve missed Keith’s good looks this entire time. Keith actually looks presentable for once, between light eye makeup and clothes that flatter the muscles in his arms, the delicateness in his face, the elegance in his form. Lance feels guilty for not putting in more effort and chastises himself. (His brain helpfully replies with, “The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.”)

“You look nice,” Lance ends up saying, feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment. Fuck, he even sounds guilty. Keith doesn’t seem to take notice. He smiles sweetly, putting away his phone.

“Thanks, you too,” he says shyly, looking at where Lance’s shirt reveals the tip of his collarbones before looking down at his feet and biting his lip. “Um, shall we go inside?”  
\---

When Lance gets back, he slams the door, startling Pidge and Hunk. “That sucked.”

Pidge looks ready to fight someone, and Hunk looks shocked. “Wait,” he says. “What happened?”

Lance flops onto the carpet. “Nothing. He was a perfect gentleman. He held the door open for me and bought me dinner like in the movies, and he was sweet and funny and charming and I’m FUCKED. How am I supposed to turn him down?”

Pidge rolls her eyes. “You either do or you don’t. Way to get me scared, you jerk,” she grumbles, nudging Lance’s body with her toes. 

And unfortunately, Lance and Keith start texting each other, too. Lance starts by sending a simple message to thank him for the date. That’s it, honest. He’s going to come clean, and maybe they can get on as friends. But then Keith asks him about his week, and about how soccer’s going, and about when Veronica is gonna hear back from colleges, and then they start talking about cats and sports and whether or not the government would cover up animals that can play soccer and… well… shit. They have another date planned. And Lance, like a true heathen, looks forward to it. To a date. With a guy he’s been lying to the entire time. Fuck. 

It’s date three, he decides. Date three to tell Keith. They went to a movie this time, and Lance hasn’t been able to focus on the movie at all between Keith leaning against his shoulder and Keith holding his hand in the popcorn. And everything just kinda crumbles down during the end credits, when Keith asks him how the movie was, playing with Lance’s hands.

“Keith, I have to tell you something important.”

“What is it, Lance?” Keith asks, eyes wide. Lance takes a deep breath.

“So, the valentines weren’t for you,” he whispers, registering only the initial silence in response.

“I know.”

“So, as I was saying, I’m really sorry and wait a minute, did you just say that you KNEW?” Lance shouts indignantly. Keith smirks at him, drawing his hands back and crossing his arms.

“Do you take me for an idiot? Of course I knew. Lance, you put Shiro’s fucking baseball number on the chocolates. I passed those on to him, by the way. I didn’t eat them. And you didn’t put Hunk’s name on the card, but you mentioned a ‘hunk of burning love’ in it so I took an educated guess.”

Lance covers his face, groaning.

“If it’s any consolation,” Keith says. “I actually really enjoyed this third date and would genuinely like to go on more. And if it’s not,” he continues. “I support your decision to ask Shiro out; I didn’t divulge your crush to him or anything. No hard feelings, man.” 

Lance, hands still covering his face in absolute mortification, thinks about this. Does he actually want to date Shiro? Shiro may be the absolute Dream Boyfriend, but his crush never actually ran that deep. So now that he thinks about it, the only hands he really wants to touch have callouses from handling astronomy equipment on the roof. The only lips he wants to kiss part when their owner talks about whether or not Area 51 actually does contain aliens. 

“Keith,” Lance says. Keith removes Lance’s hands from his face. 

When they make eye contact, both of them flush a little bit. “Yeah?” Keith asks in a quiet, gravelly voice, hands tightening on Lance’s.

“Go out with me. Let’s be a thing,” Lance says, as grandly as possible. And despite their laughter – after all, this exchange has probably been the most awkward thing since their valentine conversation – Keith manages to say yes, and they manage to make plans for the upcoming Saturday, and they may manage to sneak in a couple of kisses before the credits are over, a couple of young moviegoers wolf-whistling on their way past.

\---

There’s a knock on the door. Lance glances at Keith mischievously. Keith looks at him curiously, and Lance drapes himself over his lap and displaces the bag of popcorn, which Keith moves to the side.

“Come in!” Keith shouts, trapped, tossing a piece into Lance’s mouth.

Shiro opens the door without looking up, checking off something on a clipboard.

“Hey, just wanted to do the regular check-in and see- oh, hi Lance,” Shiro says, finally noticing Lance. He suddenly smiles, bright and wide. “So, you two, huh? I should’ve seen this coming. Adam and Allura are not gonna let me live this one down.” He glances around the room, checking off a couple more things from his clipboard.

“Glad we exist for your entertainment,” Keith retorts, rolling his eyes. 

“Hey, I’m glad it worked out,” Shiro says amicably, leaning against the doorframe. “He’s liked you for months, Lance.”

Lance’s eyes widen comically, as Keith shifts dramatically away from him.

“Wait, seriously?”

“Shiro,” Keith says warningly. Shiro gives him a shit-eating grin in response.

“Oh yeah. He’d come back after class sometimes, all ‘oh Shiro, Lance is so cute. Today he pissed off the TA again! Kya!~ UWU’ and I’d have to tell him to ask you out before he went ‘no, I can’t, he’ll never like a loner like me.’ So, I’m really happy. You’ve looked a lot happier, too, Keith. Anyway, I just wanted to check up on you. Y’all good then?”

“Uh, yeah,” Lance says unsteadily. Keith closes his eyes, breathing out his nose as he rubs at his temples. Shiro throws them one last wink.

“Great! Well, I guess I’ll leave you to it then.” 

And as the door shuts, Lance looks at Keith’s face to see if he can confirm or deny what Shiro said, but Keith’s face is scarlet, and he’s pulling the drawstrings on his hoodie so everything except his nose gets covered.

“Wait, is that true, Keith?” 

Keith groans in response. 

“Babe, tell meeeee,” Lance whines. “You know I need love and attention! Like a plant!”

“Like a piece of fungus, you grow despite the lack of it,” Keith answers without hesitation. 

Lance undoes the drawstrings and cups Keith’s face. 

“Is it true? Have you liked me for months?”

Keith looks at him, eyes filled with so much adoration that Lance can hardly believe it. “What do you think, asswipe?” 

“I think I want to kiss you. Can I?” he asks, thumb stroking Keith’s stubble. Keith closes his eyes.

“If you must. Now hurry up, I’ve wanted you to kiss me since Thermo.”

And then there’s no more talking for a while. They manage to communicate a lot about their feelings in that time, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> hahaha wow I spoiled the ending of the show for myself and I didn’t really expect that but also I was too deep into this ship to switch to canon so whoops  
> Also happy Valentine's Day, everyone!  
> Hope you enjoyed! :D


End file.
